Samantha Butler does not smile in her wedding photos. At 15, she was pregnant and says her family pressured her to marry the 25-year-old father of her child.
In 2010, her family took her on a 230-mile trip from Oklahoma City to Jasper County, Missouri, where marriage at 15 was legal with parental consent.
Butler remembers feeling uncomfortable as people at the courthouse stared. But no one asked if she was okay.
“So there’s this fresh, young girl standing here big and pregnant next to this grown adult man,” Butler said. “People gave funny looks, but nobody said anything.”
Missouri later raised the minimum marriage age to 16. In Oklahoma, marriage is legal at 16 with parental consent.
But even younger minors can marry with a judge’s approval in cases of pregnancy or paternity disputes. Under these conditions, there is no minimum age.
Pushing for Change
Butler wants Oklahoma to ban child marriage. Two bills introduced this year aim to raise the minimum marriage age, but similar efforts in the past have failed.
Since 2022, Oklahoma has had strict abortion laws, and Republican lawmakers have not advanced measures that prevent young pregnant girls from marrying.
Data on child marriage is limited because marriage licenses are issued at the county level.
However, a study from the advocacy group Unchained At Last, using U.S. Census data, ranked Oklahoma fifth in the nation for child marriages. From 2000 to 2018, an estimated 8,400 minors were married in the state.
An Unhappy Marriage
Butler grew up in a difficult home in southeast Oklahoma City. A family friend began showing her attention when she was a young teen. By 14, she says he was sleeping in her room.
When she became pregnant, family members told her she had to marry him or risk losing her baby to foster care.
Her mother, who is listed as her guardian on the marriage license, said she believed her daughter was in love and felt powerless to stop it.
The wedding was small, with a pastor officiating in an empty church. Butler, seven months pregnant, wore a simple white dress. There were no flowers.
After the wedding, Butler stayed home to raise her baby. She dropped out of school in the ninth grade and sometimes cared for her husband’s two other children.
It took Butler 12 years to become financially independent enough to file for divorce.
Her ex-husband, who is not named for privacy reasons, said drug use affected his decisions. He claimed marriage was the only way to avoid legal trouble.
“Everybody involved would have been incarcerated,” he said.
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Attempts to Raise the Marriage Age
In 2020, a bill was introduced to ban minors from marrying unless they were legally emancipated from their parents.
It passed in the House but did not advance in the Senate. Opponents, including Republican lawmakers, argued that parents should have the right to make these decisions.
Rep. Jim Olsen, R-Roland, said at the time, “Most parents make good choices for their children, and they are in the best position to decide if there’s an unusual case where a teenage marriage might be appropriate.”
This year, both Democratic and Republican legislators have proposed raising the marriage age again.
Rep. Andy Fugate, D-Oklahoma City, introduced House Bill 1141, which allows minors to marry only if they are legally emancipated.
Fugate also attempted to attach a child marriage ban to a separate bill that aimed to raise the age of consent from 16 to 18.
That bill, authored by Olsen, included a Romeo and Juliet clause allowing relationships between minors and young adults within a four-year age gap.
Fugate opposed this, arguing it would still allow a 20-year-old to have sex with a 16-year-old. To make a point, he attached the child marriage ban to Olsen’s bill.
Olsen later withdrew the bill, saying it violated Oklahoma’s single-subject rule, which requires legislation to focus on only one legal area.
While Olsen personally believes people should wait until 20 to marry, he does not support raising the legal marriage age. He argues that limiting marriage options for pregnant teens could push them toward abortion.
Sen. Warren Hamilton, R-McCurtain, introduced Senate Bill 504, which would raise the marriage age to 18, saying the current law leaves too much room for abuse.
“By raising the age of consent to 18, we ensure that young people remain legally protected until adulthood, preventing predators from exploiting loopholes,” Hamilton said.
Speaking Out for Others
Now 29, Butler has worked her way up in restaurant kitchens and is an executive chef at a catering company.
She is sharing her story because she wishes someone had spoken up for her when she was young.
“It has to change for all the young girls who don’t have a voice,” she said.
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