Nicole Kidman’s anxieties about her own mortality occasionally keep her up at night.
In a GQ interview published Monday, the 57-year-old actress revealed that she is “open to emotions” and feels things deeper than ever before.
“Mortality. Connection. “Life comes and hits you,” she added. “And [the] loss of parents and raising children and marriage and all of the things that go into making you a fully sentient human.”
“I’m in all of those places,” Kidman explained. “So life is, whew. “It’s a journey.”
The star of “Big Little Lies” shared, “And it hits you as you get older how… It’s like waking up at 3 a.m., weeping and gasping. If you’re experiencing it rather than numbing yourself. And I’m in it. “I’m completely in it.”
Kidman elaborated on her perspective on mortality while pondering about her father Antony Kidman’s death in 2014.
“There’s the mortality aspect of life which, when you start to deal with that, it’s very heavy,” she spoke of. “When you’re raising children, you’re like, ‘I have to stay here.'” I want to see it all. “It’s sad, gorgeous, and extraordinary.
Kidman is currently suffering the death of her mother, Janelle Ann Kidman, who died at the age of 84 in September.
The Oscar winner had to leave the Venice Film Festival early due to a family tragedy. Kidman was there to win the Volpi Cup for Best Actress for her work in the new film “Babygirl.”
The film’s director, Halina Reijn, accepted the award on Kidman’s behalf and gave a message regarding her mother’s passing.
“Today, I arrived in Venice to find out shortly after that my beautiful, brave mother, Janelle Ann Kidman, has just passed,” according to a statement. “I’m in shock and need to go see my family, but this award is for her.” She shaped me, directed me, and created me.”
“I am beyond grateful that I get to say her name to all of you through Halina,” the message read. “The collision of life and art is heartbreaking, and my heart is broken.”
Kidman later discussed losing her mother at the Los Angeles premiere of her show “Lioness” in October.
“I wish my mama was here,” she told the Hollywood Reporter on the red carpet. “That’s the only thing I would say. Everything is going great at work, but I wish my mother was here.”
Kidman is the proud mother of four children. She has two kids, Sunday Rose, 16, and Faith Margaret, 13, with husband Keith Urban, and a daughter, Bella, 31, and a son, Connor, 29, with her ex-husband, Tom Cruise.
